Hie-Pi

I spotted the most admirable rainbow two days ago & that instance it made me a really happy person, i don't know why either. The road was still wet from the rain in the noon & the weather feel just right for a good run. I was chatting happily with the girls when i noice something from the corner of my eye. A rainbow, a huge & clearly shown rainbow. What's makes it even more pretty was a double rainbow ( : I have a theory of my own when it comes to rainbow & i once told my sister about it but she refuse to believe me. I told her each time after a downpour & when the sky seems orangey that means there's rainbow. True enough i never fail not to see a rainbow when the sky seem orangey. I would always run to the window & start staring into the sky, maybe not all the time i would get to see a full rainbow or i may have to squim my eye just to see very small ones but still i see them ! So go try this out & see if it works on you alright ( :

Immune system's down again , flu/blocknose , fever & headache. Hate it especially at this time when i have to juggle work & dance at the same time. Dance have been good even thou i can't dance well but im happy with the company of everyone ( : Makes me much more a happier person. Thankyou girls & gina my breastflennn.

Last friday was Mind's cafe with three loving couple :/ I was the super lightbulb but nevertheless i had hell great fun with them playing the boney game :D Shall do it again soon!
Saturday was spend Ian's birthday surprise at Kallang Mac. It was a BLAST ! I enjoy myself hell loads & not forgetting the happy meals toy that comes along with it. I left mine in Kay's van thou. Heh , thanks Sab for the invitation !! Then over to lap sap ktv with Kay & mates near midnight & finally ended the night with me joining Jo&co.
Sunday had me watching PI's match with my sexy liverpoooool jersey :D Then to CH's crib for lunch & i have my virgin experience of catching a bird!! The feeling was strange but never could i imagine i was that BRAVE. Good Job Eileen (: & i was torment by three little girls, being pulled around, psh around, lift around, darg around & pulling of my HAIRRRR. I was close to the verge of slapping them when they pull my hair but i pretend being nice, afterall i dont know them at all. Then was Ju's crib for WII !! Hell crazy but super funnnnnnnn, WII again, again!! Then ended my day with Benjamin Button at Marina.

That marks the end of my weekend, spell fun isn't it ( : & i especially lub lub it. HEH. Weekdays was spend dancing dancing everyday & TGIF again ( : Dance performance tmr follow by i dont know. Then sunday rest day. Im starting to like this life now.

On a side note , i haven seen LOW JIA MIN for 32656454164845 years !! CHARBOR ask me out i tell you !

Oh, & please remind me to fix my camera guys. HAHA.

xoxo,Eileen

haitus

im having this huge phobia & im running away.

bye

haitus

i've lost touch with the cyber world world, guess i am really stepping into the working adult world? been busy juggling 2 jobs and dance at the same time. waking up at 6am and sleeping as late as 2am kill me & yes, my body's down. but i feel happy working my soul out, for i wouldnt have time to think of other stuff (: cant wait for saturday performance, been so long since i dance!!

random.

maid misses pprincee.
shortie20 misses shawty21.
fatty misses fatty.
pong misses ling.
skinny misses lim ah pui.
leen misses min mei.
poh misses ah lee.
nutshell misses star2.
ying2 misses ng shihui.
E misses kay.
E misses E.
me misses gina the best friend.
bitch misses serene the slut.
tootsiepoo misses mjtaitai & mrs tan ss.
princess misses EI0603
<3

edna & my office's like blocks away only and i haven met her -.- !!

think i found it back again (:

lastly i wont be online that often, sorry guys :/

PS : excuses i find it so hard to believe, never will i make myself seems so stupid anymore.

xoxo,
working muffin

Happy Valentine Day

Happy Valentine Day <3

I love the liverpool jersey , THANKYOU.

More details will be uploaded soon.


PS : Why do one say i like you and goes missing on the other hand?

xoxo,
love

Last.

In a couples of hours more, im gonna be a un-official NYP graduate (:

mental stress

i haven slept for more than 24 hours, my mind's running insane.

tmr marks the last day of poly life, wonder what would the future brings for me.

you know everyday when i turn on this something i have this fear? thinking that i would be next. f-ing miserable to be this way. why why why why?

xoxo

PLEASE.

I'm dancing once again & i feel happy about it, prolly the only reason that i could feel this happy. Especially Evelyn high entertainment dance moves (: I had a great night dancing with them last night despite the tired soul in me.

Presentation's tmr & i am not even a percent prepared for it :/ hopefully everything would be able to go smoothly and of cos i hope the individual marker would close one eye on we both. keeping my fingers cross XX.

When i return home after dance last night, potatoman threw me a question which left me pretty speechless.
" What happen to you, your eye seems so tired "
I, was seriously lost for words because i myself don't know the reason for that pair of tired eyes. I thought i hide it well, my unhappiness, sorrow, worries & tiredness but i prolly over-estimate myself. Afterall i'm not the wonderwoman that i thought i would be, i am still the little woman who would cry over every little thing that happen. I'm tired, tired of thinking about stuff that could be avoided, that i should be bothering over at this time. Prehaps i was being over sensitive & paranoid which is why leading me to such misery. I should quit playing mind game because i am someone who cant play 'em. & lastly, no one in this world is worth trusting, somehow some people prove me wrong about this.

PS : please give me a little more space and freedom to do things i want. I hate doing things that i feel oblige in doing it, its making me feels like a robort, every single actions are controlled by you, yes even my emotions. I may not be the best, but i have done my best.

PPS : I choose not to let people know more about me because i am afraid of being judged by people.

xoxo,
poptart-

memories

Hello, my name is Eileen Fu Ying Ying & i'll be turning 21 this coming april 26th april. My mummy told me that she's going to cook and sponser for the foods, i am certainly touched because my family have never once celebrate my birthday for me which very often i thought they forgot about it. The reason why i am typing this down is because mummy accompained me to the doctor to collect my health report just now. The doctor say there's a small tumor pressing against one nerve in my brain and its gonna affect my memories. He doesnt know how long will it take for me to complete lose everything thats in my head and so neither do i cause i will forget it naturally without realizing it. Its such a joke, i thought such stuff would only happen in mama dramas, who knows it happen on me. Just how great everything could be. Dream come true in the worst way, i have always wished that i could forget about the unhappy past and moved on happily but little did i know, knowing that i am really gonna forget everything is making my world collaps. Now i know its not about losing someone you dear thats scary, it you knowing you will lost yourself someday thats scary. I will upload all my pictures into this place, in case i forget about the people who are dear to me, & of cos give all my usernames and password to the best pals to at least help me remember those happy and unhappy past. Tell me that i have the bestest friend in the world when i start forgetting about them & tell me that i have love this someone whole heartly for 4 years and he was the one who made me this strong.
As much as i want to remember the good and happy times, my brain lost its ability to do so.
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okay, i imagine the above part. but what if something like this happen someday?
people who read it, if you felt this sharp pain while reading it, thankyou for you treat me so dear to you that you dont wanna lose me, those who didnt, great for you. while typing it, i could feel my heart aching really badly, prehaps i never want to forget about anything in my life, be it good or bad.
my family's getting better each day & i should be happy about it. no wonder people always says, when god closes one door, he open another one for you. i should learn to be happier each day, i should learn to love myself a lil more each day, i really should.

-

been so long since i feel so empty & lost , tell me im not.

i dont know whats in my mind as wellllll.

a race against time

Im racing against time recently, how i wish i have 48hours a day with 24hours belonging to me and not on others/other things. 24hours to rest my mind & soul, let it recover from all the ' fights ' i have earlier on. sounds so wonderful isn't it but life doesn't always goes your life, its always about fighting for what you want & what you think its right, i hate fighting be it in any form, seriously.

im tired of rushing everyday, to school then to teach tuition and very soon i'll have to rush back for dance practice. i wouldnt mind doing all these, cos 1. school wise i have no choice , 2. tuition means moo-lahs & 3. dance is passion. but my world within myself seem to be crashing down a lil by a lil each day. horribleeeeeee.

3 years of poly life flow past just like this, everything that i could remember feels like it just happen a month back. stepping into the adult world still seems so hard for me, i wished i will never grow up. NIE haven return me a reply, so i guess the chances of me getting in there is zero. what to do next seems like a huge decision & i really cant make up my mind on what i wanna do next.

tuition is fun yet a very tedious job. fun because i like seeing how my student know more things because of me but tedious when they have problem remebering simple things and also constantly capturing their attention. :/ one of my student have problem reading & it's driving me insane when he couldn't even pronounce simple words such as ' do , not , with , which ' he's a primary 1 student by the way. my brain oh my brain, they feel so tired :(

hate the way how people judge one. partying doesnt means every girl goes to the club to hook up guys or better still to sleep with guys. that's prolly what most guys think? to hook up a whore in the club and fuck their night away, wake up cleaning their dicks and off they go, either MIA or taking the whore as a booty call. yes there are sluts out there who cant live without sex and would accept any stick that wants to enter their overly enlarge hole but that doesnt applies to all girls. least girls wouldnt wet their underwear while dancing with a guy while guys would steam when dancing with a girl, whats this? keeping your stick soft and to yourself would be the greatest respect to a girl, remember that.

time's running out , project time.

PS : have you got yourself a v day date? i haven, HAHAHAHA

xoxo,
Eileen

confuse

i need time to heal before i can move on.
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PS : what's does friend mean to you? asking them out only when you're bored ?

a listening ear

for the past month(s), ive been carrying tons of weight on my back. sealing each emotions well, proving to others im really fine & how strong ive become. to date i realize, i was never once strong, in fact im getting more & more vulnerable each day.

how each day piece up my life, seeing myself a little more different as each day ends. i let people enter my life too easily now which piece up the part that im getting more vulnerable as each day comes t an end. it feels like i am being put t an environment that's open t hurt & im prone t get hurt. i thought not crying was a form of being strong but i was so wrong. strong physically is nothing, being strong in the mind is something & its also something which i doesn't have. vulnerable/strong, where do i stand?

its really amazing the people that stood by me now, i seriously thank you guys for the listennig ear. especially x, thank you for still being there listening t me & getting all so worried over me. i knew you would be the best person t hear everything of me , for prehaps youre the only person who will get so hyped up & start jumping all over, which make me sense the lil importance of me in you as a friend. thankyou for all the encouragment & most importanly the text just now. you lighten the burden on my back, thank you so much x (:

thank you star2 for being there as well & making me fall in love with royce, chocolate (:

yesterday night i did a really funny thing which makes me keep refreshing my email t check for new mail. i actually email my bestfriend & fyi i love emailing her (: min mei, i miss you hell lot, better ask me out soon. luv<3

5th 5th 5th 5th 5th 5th - killing me slowly

xoxo

Doodles

Update of visuals.

A Friday - Mini Reunion Dinner + Party
People Involved : Mandy, Eileen, Elin
Food Ordered : Not Nice Calamari, Nice Tofu, Lotsa Garlic Dou Miao & Chilli Crab

The food aint really great but it was a simple & nice good dinner & the night was pretty gone. I cant remember & doesnt want t recall about it either.



A Saturday - Reunion Dinner w The Family
Venue : Youngest Uncle Crib
Food : Ten Course Vegetarian Dinner Prepared By 1st Aunt. ( My mother side are all vegetarian )
People Involved : The entire family excluding eldest cousin family.

This year dinner was very different from the past dinner(s) we have, not the usual steamboat get together reunion dinner . We had wedding-dinner-like 10 course dinner prepared by my aunt (: Thou it was vegetarian food but it taste superbly good & delis. The theme was lil nonya as it the lastest crazy among the 'aunties & uncles " now, hence explain the table cloth pattern. Oh, my mum's family are nonya btw because my grandfather's a BABA.



The night was great, as usual the whole house was filled with laughters. I really love such garthering, never feels t make my heart feels wozzy wozzy. I always feel rich with a family like that, rich of family loveeeeee<3>

My granny was super cute that night. Just as mummy was about t leave for her friend's place, my uncle asked everyone t stop whatever they are doing & listen cos my ah man have got something t say. & so all of us stopped whatever we're doing & look at my ah ma in the most serious way thinking what was it that she's gonna say. She paused for a moment & went " HUAH AH " super cute i tell you !! luv my ah ma many(s)



Chinese New Year Eve - Reunion Dinner w Dad's Family
Venue : Eldest Aunt Crib
Food : No.1 Steamboat & Cold Plate
People Invovled : Entire Poh Family

The every year routine t go over t eldest aunt crib for steamboat dinner followed by garthering & gambling. Last year we had big small & this year we had BINGO. The cold plate was great, i specially love the century egg & mini red octopus :D



A clearer picture of my sister explaining the rules of Bingo to my aunties & cousins.



Visuals of CNY will be upload soon as well.



Its the 5th of Feb today, but everything seems a little too different this year. No anticipating when the clock strike 12 yesterday night, no long message thanking how wonderful it have been for us & how much love there was. Still its the 5th of Feb & i wanna thankyou for being such a wonderful person giving me all that you could afford & tolerating me. Couldnt have been this strong if weresn't for you. xoxo poo.

Ps : Ive seen the best & have the best, all i need now is a simple & happy life.

xoxo,
Eileen

Update.

Here for a proper update, guess my mind is much clearer now after a long good sleep.

CNY was the same old routine of visiting relatives on the first & second day till late, hang around over at aunt's crib & nonstop eating actions. All the photos are uploaded inside the school com, so i'll upload 'em when i get back t school tomorrow (: Maybe its the recession, my angbao money srink :/ how about you guys?

School's coming t an end very soon for me, less than a week & i'll be 'graduate' from NYP. NIE haven return a answer so yup, im very clueless about what to do next. And everyone have long completed their project while my group are struggling t get a solution now, sigh.

5th of Feb will be tomorrow, im really confuse!

anyway GIRLS, if a guy tells you he's into you & all the shit but tells you he CANT commit, simply ask him t fuck off or find some holes along geylang (:

xoxo,
Eileen

Sleepless Night.

each time i enter this space, my mind would turn blank for five minutes, its funny how my mind work recently. Chinese New Year is coming t an end soon, times pass really quick recently which is a bad thing i suppose, because we are all aging faster this way. My CNY was a balling one, how about you guys? Pictures will be up soon.

Finding it hard t fall asleep recently, my body's working at a very strange ways. Things haven been on my side recently & im really confuse about what should i do & who i can fall on. Amazing how humans click together and such.

i simply cant fall t bed, anw save me.

xoxo.