I Thought.

I've officially graduate from Nanyang Poly, well another phrase ofmy life completed. Throughout these 3 wonderful years in school, i've learnt things which i never once i would knew and develop interest in. There i met the most wonderful classmates and cliques which never fails to be there and cheer me up. There where i fall badly in relationship and then learn to stand up from. There where i've made bad decisions & then learning from it. There were i met someone and ended the journey together with graduation. So much memories, i wish time would move slower.

PS. Pictures will be up soon i promise, internet's still a whore.

Tmr im gonna officially be the society slave. It's how funny that i badly wanted a job and then after i sign the appointment letter i began to regret. I couldn't see my future and what i really wanna be. This makes me feel like the most useless person on earth, living each day with no aims & getting emotional over the slightest things ever. I was never a big planner, i wanna earn money the easiest way and the fastest way which we all knew it's never this logic. I'll see where tmr brings me to and shall decide something.

For the past week, i haven been feeling good or right. I tried so hard to keep myself busy so that i wouldnt think of things which i aint suppose to dwelling over for. Apparently it all fail, times when im alone, times where the house sounded too quiet, thoughts just keep coming into my mind. So many why(s) but no answer. I lied about being strong, i lied about everything to make me seems im strong, i aint as strong as what it appear to be. Each time i thought he's out, he'll appear.

xoxo.
Eileen

hollywoods.

back from Thailand back to reality, hello i am back.

all the cheap shopping(s), food & massage have ended, missing it alr :/ The land of smile never fails to make me the happiest person, thou it gets dangerous at night but everything there is just great. Love the trip with the gang of endless laughters. Pictures update soon (:

My elder cousin have completed her op, she got her big tumor removed (: Things aint as bad as what we thought anymore, now the only wish we all had is for her to continue fight hard against cancer. We all love her.

My aunt's company finally wanna hire me but i've alr got a job :/ which is better. Sigh

I hope it's never too late to wake up from my dreammm.

PS. Saturday girlfs night with ah pui (: *mwah

xoxo

Jetting Off.

Jetting off in less than 48hours time, instead of feeling as excited as im suppose to be. Here i am having a rather mixed feelings.

Humans are so fragile when it comes to fighting against illness. My elder cousin was diagnose with last stage cancer on saturday morning. This news came far too much of a surprise to me, my family and my extended family. Even thou we were all laughing over at aunt's place happily having our usual family outing but as each and everyone stepped out of her house, tears would just fall. We all could call and cry how unfair it is for someone like her to have such a illness for she doesnt smoke nor drink and for her entire life, she hasn't lead a blissful life. But nothing could make us change the fact. All that we can pray for is a miracle for her to live longer and her will to overcome this major war. Nothing i could do to help make her and all of us feel better, the only that i can help out a little was prolly help bring my little nephew home from school so long time allows.

She's gonna have her operation this friday which is also the day that i'll be jetting off. I really hope everything will goes on smoothly for her. Im feeling very guilty for not being able to be here for her. :(

I cant continue my post anymore.

PS. Please get her well, we all wanna see her strong still.

LIAR.

" No matter how strong a person is, they're afraid of facing the truth. " This sentence brought me out of my own denial of me desperately wanting a answer from x. It made me realize, no humans are strong, we all have a strong & a weak side. Each time i decided to take step back, i'll find myself taking two steps forward. Be it i get pushed away once again or not, i still moved forward. Then to find myself falling deeper into something which i'll never get anything out of it. Why cant i let this go, why cant i be who i once was , this question just kept repeating itself in me.

No one ever owns anyone a explaination i know, especially when both aint related in anyway. But ignorance to the surrounding wont do much help either, it'll only get either one party badly or both party hurt. It doesnt hurt to tell the truth i suppose, or is it all humans are selfish, wanting to keep the best side of them to the others? Or maybe karma's getting one me.

Once a girl love, she love with her whole heart & once a guy lie, he too lie with his whole heart.

If anyone could shake me up from this dream that i've dreamt too far.

xoxo.
poptartz.

super power

If only i can have one super power in which i could heal myself , in fact all humans needs that. It rather funny how i could advise others so well but couldn't tell myself to be strong like how i tell the others. Hmmm.

xoxo,
superhero

weak.

Does one have to pay for trust? I've always thought trust is a mutual thing, happened between two person, that is should be gain & gradually increase as the level of understanding between two person increase. Now, that so much have been place upon my eyes, i've came to realize just how weak & sham f/s could be. How each indivdual motive bring each and every of us to a higher state. Things were alot simple when we were young, was it all because we were much unaffected & green back then. Skeptical & leery people surrounding me is making me breathless, too much brain cells dying thinking what motive could each have & what are the outcomes would be. Way too much for one to handle & i feel really weak from everything recently.
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Those point aside, H1N1 have amazingly spread to the land of smiles, howwwwww great. Seriously hope the person would recover fast & stop the spreading would stop else all of us would be in health danger. Cant wait for departure with the gang, i know we would all have so much fun.

I've been drinking at least one yakult each day , i dont understand why cant they make Yakult in a bigger bottle so it will be enough for me. Rarr!

Here's one picture before you guys forget how i look now.



PS. I grew very tired from everything , im giving up every single things. F/S isn't all that i need really, i live better alone. I know.

xoxo,
Eileen

Im drafting my birthday post already, soon i will have it up here. Tons of photos to be uploaded to here and FB but internet's a bitch at home.

We'll be expecting a new member to the house this coming July, hopefully she'll be good. I will have mine after my sister move out, meanwhile cant wait for the little things arrival.

Days haven been too well, i've been rotting too much to a extend im growing side ways and even my sister is rushing me for a job interview. Sigh, growing up is such a chore.

anw, i love my girls. lim pui pui, party party soon, see you on thursday to pour my heart out la. haha.

ps. growing up and letting go is what i hate most.

xoxo.
eileen

是和你爱得人在一起比较幸福，
还是和爱你的人在一起比较幸福呢?

我辜负了他但他仍然对我付出一百分。
他的改变大家都看见了，唯有我。

我不想做出错得选择，但是，
是否太迟了?

I've lost the motivation to blog , no ones tagging.
&
I've lost the trust in manys.
21 i see things from a clearer view.

Thankyou friends.