twenty-one

I've got to apologise for the lack of updates and visuals. Reason being , my wireless router's down which result in not being able to log in to the net with my lappy. The only way to log on to the net was through this shoddy desktop. i'll get my router fix soon, so meanwhile, pardon for all the mudane entries.

25th April.
Thanks to all who came down for the celebration and for those who aint there, you owe me a BIG one. I wouldnt say that the party was a blast cos i seriously failed being a host. Didnt manage to keep everyone entertain & most of the time i myself was lost and stuck not knowing what to do. Now i know running a party is never easy. Still, a big thank you to all those who was there and the left overs for counting down my birthday with me. And most importantly, i really ought to thank my family for making this entire thing work out, especially my dad & elder sister.
PS. Eunice Yong, you watch out during yuor 21st!!

26th April.
Maternal relatives threw a BBQ birthday celebration for my younger cousin and I. Accompany was great as well as the food (: Felt really loveeeeeeeee.
Night was over at Ju's place then to the airport for the arrival of Ju's return from LA. I thought the gang had come up with a birthday surprise upon reaching Ju's place as the door was close & even more strange when cw open the door and the rest was not around. I could still remember clearly that , i opened Ju's room door with great anticipation and anxiety, to my huge SURPRISE, they were all either sleeping or using the com -.- all along i was carrying too high hopes !! HAHA.
So we left to fetch for Ju. And to my HUGE HUGE HUGE GREAT GREAT GREAT SURPRISE, there was a HELLO KITTY HUGE BALLON IN NESH CAR !! :D Thankyou guys for giving me sucha sweet surprise when the clock strike 12 to 27th april. Luv you guysss to bitsssss.

We then became 'ninjas' at the airport for Ju's arrival , back home and collected our GOODS.

I enjoy my birthday thou nothing great or big happen but im really thankful to those who in a way or another wish me and celebrated my birthday for me. (: 21's the turning point for most people or i would rather say everyone. Key to freedom is what we all knew & true enough we all got to be responsible young adults by now and being independent. Seriously, i hate growing up. Now i've got a burden of paying phone bills myself and school fees myself ): stillllll, i can deny the fact that im 21. RARR!

I have a good friend and she have date phobia -.- GIRL PLEASEEEEEEE GET SOME GUYS ELSE YOU GONNA REMAIN ON THE SHELF FOREVER. but i envy your such character ):

PS. Lately i've not been feeling the Eileen in me.

xoxo.
21 old muffin

How is it possible to have a terrible heartache and feeling extremly happy at the same time?

Those minutes worth of conversation, prolly one i treasure most. Humans never change, they'll only realize things when its gone. I cant deny that.

You, keeps me going on strong,
Your leaving left me handicap.

Better In Time

Problems never seems to stop coming, worn out but fred not, Eileen's well prepared to fight this problem war(s).

21 will be the turning point, it willllllllll.

Im getting fatter each day ): time for diet but its only 4 days to my 21st, how to slim down?!

PS. Sorry if i haevn been replying texts. Its just not the time for me.

xoxo,
KC

How True

Taurus - Wednesday, April 22

" Sometimes your life is an open book, and you expect the same from others. Don't be discouraged if you are not being told the whole story. Someone may be trying to protect your feelings. "

I would rather hear the whole story than only knowing the comforting part. It'll be easier to brave through all the aches knowing the truth rather than living in the thoughts of what good will tmr bring. We've been fighting too hard for nothing, pride took us no where.

I grew out of the fantasy world, i realize my mistake but it was all too late.

" The bravest thing that men do is love women "
-Mort Sahl

Turning 21 in just a few days time but luck doesn't seems to be on my side. Everything's not falling in place, it's just getting worst each day.

Been so long since i see myself dwelling over such issues, thinking that i've grow up, wouldn't let such thing bring me down but again im brought to the bottom pit by those words that was convey to me. It didnt hurt so badly till the thought 'MIA' strike my head, it made me feel like a loser, a total idiot. Mistake i did, nothing could make up to it. I've tried my best, still it fails. Why such a joke on me when im less than a week from the i suppose to be happy day?!

I'll prove this whole thing wrong, but please dont ever torture me anymore god.

PS. I shouldnt even have text anyone if i knew there was not going to be any replies.

does rainbow exist,
peeping through the dark clouds.

YOU will be fine, i trust you.

Growing up's such a tiring chore. I never like changes, in any form in any way, i hate having to repeat the same ol' routine of adapting to the changes and such. stop the time from moving , someone.

I dont like the way i am now. . whats wrong with you health !

same ol' mistake

PS. Happy 20th Birthday Miss Regina Ang (: May all your wishes come true, mmmmwaaaah!

I sold my own conscious away since the start of the conversation between x & me. I was brought into this circle five months back, time flies. Without realizing im already five month into this life. This isn't the original me, neither did i like this version of me.

a thousand & one thing waiting for me to do, but here i am doing nothing. i have a choice but i choose to lay around and do nothing. the issue just add on to everything that's happening, i was at fault and i make my stand and apologise but nothing seems to help. i hate this, take it and get off eileen.

return the old eileen back someone,please.

xoxo

the path i chose

this decision i make , i wont regret. be it that its gonna be the hardest path ever. should it be the most hurtful decision ever, be toughest thing to do ever, i wont give up. i may break down endless time, nevertheless i hope all the hard work will pay out. please tell me it willl.

xoxo,
S.P of yours

99% of my life contain pretendious people, only 1% of them are true but i cant really tell who they are. those who were there to share my joy & hide when im at my worst, too many to be name. which is also the reason why i kept most things to myself. dont asked me why i choose to build a wall around me, cos you guys will never understand what it is like to have your enemy pretending as your best friend.

is it really that strike a balance between love & friends? does your world only spin for love?

M.K

LIVERPOOL WON 3 - 1 . Double thumbsup for the red army (: They never fails to start my day with a wide wide smile.

Finally hand in the relevent documents & got one burden off my shoulder. Hopefully i will be able to get in. Headed over to PS with masterP for dinner and foot massage. I have to change my body clock! & of cos drinking more water else im really gonna die at the age of 25. HAHA. MasterP got me a new friend, love it to max ! Thankyou PP.

Here meet my new cuddle cuddle.







Miffy Keleen. Such a dear isn't it? FYI, im a cuddle a tedy bear to sleep person.

I cant access the internet still with my laptop, anyone knows how to fix the router?!

Party with the secondary school friends & cousin tmr (:

xoxo,
M.K master

Hong Kong was FAB cept for the lodging & people there. Food & SHOPPING was the sex , totally (: Thou things are rather expensive as compare to BKK but its really worth it. The food was so great that i can hardly see my own toes now ): alright , time for diet diet diet !

How great that my router broke down at this time, so no photos for now !!

PS : I NEED DIET

xoxo

- 24 HOURS

Jetting off in less than 24 hours, very unprepared. Currency not change , things not pack & ive got to go for tuition later. But still very glad that finally im getting a get away from everything that's happening especially after yesterday night.

Tuition's a bitch, okay maybe only that primary 4 student of mine. She doesnt likes ting xie & cos i gave her ting xie she complain to her oh so dear-ly mummy and she stopped my tuition. Lets shall just see how her wonderful girl could survive without knowing what a computer in chinese at the age of 10. Kids these days are really hard to handle & so i need a job badly.

Finally i let down my pride last night & be my true self. PP seems to know how i feel & speak through my mind. I've always thought i could hold it well, little did i know i was that vunerable, she speak of that past and i couldnt stop crying. how uselesssssssss. ):

This get away would be good, i hope. To bring me far from this place , for me to decide what i really want. Things never comes my way. Everyone's working towards their success while im doing shit here. Why am i sucha useless person ? ):

I hate liars & i have to say this very CLEAR. If you ever wanna lie to me, at LEAST lie the clever way. Cos i aint as DUMB as what you thought i would be. Once you lie , you will NEVER be forgiven. Why do i always meet such LOSERS?!

I miss lowjiamin , limtingting, reginaang, chanpeiqi, wynneking, pprincess, ednachua , kaylylow, euniceyong and those im suppose to miss. wahahahahah

xoxo,
" mai dong xi xhi dong xi loh ! "

Night Like This

Haven been sleeping at the right timing , falling asleep only at wee hours and waking up less than eight hours later. Im tired , mentally tired & very much physically tired. How i wished i could really be the one who i protray to others and not the one that other dont see it.

Night like this makes me feel worthless , too many things surrounding my head and mind. Money issue 's driving me insane, i prolly make the worst mistake one month back. Relationship's on hold & i would say i love my life now despite i dont really have an answer to most question people promt me , and i really hope they could stop asking about it.

Sometimes i feel lonely or rather most of the time. I may be seems as a very busy person with endless people to meet but do i really want it that way? I envy those who have really great friends, being there for them and of cos giving them surprises. My birthday how many would even remember it , and the kind of surprises others are getting. It seems so much different. I know im sounding very emotional now , but i dont want to keep in inside anymore. Im bursting out any moments.

Everything is unfair, fuck.